Diary Dateline: November, 2004, Boston, Massachusetts
Have heard that the fans have been clamoring to hear more about my love adventures. Am both touched and humbled by accolades for moi. AND am so sorry have had no time to write lately but with new plan to capture heart of a young’n and buying and settling into new house have been busiest woman on planet! But fortunately for Rachel’s Dating Diary, as ever, new adventures have ensued.
And old plan is out window as new plan has emerged! And all because have encountered fascinating specimen of a man so alien to my reality as to leave head positively spinning! I mean, I want to snag this delectable lad in my butterfly net, bring him to the Smithsonian (http://www.si.edu/) and pin him down under glass like a beautiful little butterfly!
Scene: It was Veterans Day in Boston and with F.O.R. in tow, joined friends at watering hole in Charlestown Navy Yard, brick yuppie enclave on waterfront, for requisite reveling, fun and New England Boiled Dinner (BTW: am sure my fabulously fun Irish rellies wouldn’t be caught dead eating such a thing but heck, let’s let America have its fantasy about the Irish being just a bunch of alcoholic leprechauns who eat nothing but potatoes - we who are of Irish descent know the truth, that the Irish saved civilization. Well, at least that’s what my dad always tells us!
BTW: highly recommend, How the Irish Saved Civilization: The Untold Story of Ireland's Heroic Role from the Fall of Rome to the Rise of Medieval Europe by, Thomas Cahill, and the fabulous Boston Globe reporter Maureen Dezel’s, Coming Into Clover, two fascinating reads about what really means to be descended from the oh’so’glorious CELTS!
But of course I digress…back to my close encounter with swain seemingly from alien world.
My fascinating specimen offered me seat at bar and authoritatively shushed crowd to listen to President who was at that moment speaking about situation in Iraq on the telly. Was most happy he took charge of situation and allowed me to hear what President was decreeing.
Of course such goings on lead to our striking up a getting-to-know-you conversation. Realized immediately could not understand one word uttered by lad as he had most adorable DEEP southern accent. As was born and raised on the shores of exquisite seaside/PREPPY enclave on Boston’s north shore and parental units really do “Pahhhk the Cah in Hahhhvuhd Yahhhd”, seized opportunity to lean in close and attempt lip reading.
Did I mention too that this handsome specimen was sporting Vin Diesel do, (why are bald men so hot, hot hot? I truly pant for them!) and that combined with the exotic accent was enough to send me into a full-on swoon! Jane Austen could not have written it any better. AND learned that the poor thing has been simply pining away from loneliness during his six months in lovely Boston, sadly a city renowned for its masses of terribly rude and unfriendly people. Quel tragedie indeed.
I sympathized breathily with much batting of eyes, tossing of hair and heaving of bosom, assuring him that I understood his pain and anguish as during my long seven year stay in beautiful San Francisco had been charmed and delighted by the simply oodles of friendly West Coasters I encountered, much to my Yankee astonishment. Agreed that Boston could use a large dose of southern hospitality upon which he offered to buy me a refresco (as this dive of a bar had no reputable champagnes to offer me was sticking with non-alcoholic beverage) that I accepted for myself and for F.O.R., a rather tall and frosty G&T (her signature drink).
Was truly ENCHANTED with Specimen as he and I could not be more different! He South, me North. He gun rack/truck, me Volvo, He hunter, me practically vegetarian. He hunting dog, me house cat. He horse breaker, me horse lover. He living in New Hampshire the “Live Free or Die” state, me living in Massachusetts, bastion of the liberal “intelligencia” and home to “The People’s Republic of Cambridge” as it is called.
The list goes on and on, but for some reason was feeling all-aflutter. Also, seemed to have developed adorable southern accent of my own as had my now quite tipsy F.O.R.. His accent was too seductive for us to not start to emulate his adorable drawl. Elvis was definitely in the building!
Oh dear, what is wrong with me? When fell for last “bad boy” at least he was a poser as was actually aristocrat of a “bad boy” whose biggest act of rebellion was not going to college and living life as pro sports nomad! This appeared to be the REAL DEAL but I couldn’t help myself, kept flirting away with assists by F.O.R./wingman and found self falling under his spell.
For all I knew, this guy could quite literally be planning on turning my precious cat into a pair of earmuffs with matching gloves for Christmas!
“I never kill anything I don’t eat,’ he assured me leaving me marveling at the sheer HETERO-ness of this lad.
How refreshing! He was a by-God ANIMAL this one and I was apparently turning into a she-wolf in heat simply by being near him! Next stop, baying at the moon outside his log cabin in the mountains! Perhaps have lived for too long as captive of polite society and he TARZAN and me JANE? EEK!!!
Just thinking of the possibilities set my heart racing. He could teach me to shoot and I could learn to skin a deer and make boots and a lovely, herb-infused venison ragout all in the same afternoon! He had the rough hands of a man who has known a hard days’ labor (well at moment so do I but this cold winter weather is a real bitch!) Such a man is unknown to me! Perhaps is kind of man we ALL need. Hmmmn…
Of course when all was said and done I gave up the digits and off he went assuring me that he would definitely be in touch “wich” me. Cannot even IMAGINE where such a specimen will take me on a date. And what on earth will I wear? Hmmm, do have that little Reese Witherspoon-esque “Sweet Home Alabama” outfit I have been saving for right occasion, perhaps time to trot it out. Brown suede, off-the-shoulder number with cowboy boots are at the ready thanks to recent expedition to bargain heaven, Filene’s Basement. (L.R.H.L.A.D. #11, always have emergency date outfit on stand-by)
Note to self: make first date with this man a double, safety in numbers. F.O.R.’s will definitely be included. It is really all too delicious and fun. Plus F.O.R. is looking forward to meeting a man named Bubba and calling him “son”.
Did I mention the best part is that he has a twin? I think we’ve all had that fantasy – ‘nuff said. Too bad my gorgeous well-meaning (MARRIED) twin sis’ is already happily ensconced in her palatial home in Manchester by the Sea with her adorable twin babies and prickly pre-adolescent. Could have doubled. But enough about married people, did I mention that he works on a barge laying natural gas pipeline with 350 men!
How lucky am I? How lucky are F.O.R.’s that am about to deliver up 350 able bodied manly men?
Flashback to days when I was but a lass of 18. Blonde and adorably sassy F.O.R., who have known and loved since was six months old, decided while drinking Bartles and James wine coolers (I know, but heck, it was the 80’s!) on beach late at night that needed to find loo so staggered off over dunes. Five minutes later said adorable blonde reappeared with a minor league baseball TEAM, that’s right a TEAM, in FULL UNIFROM, in tow!
She became like a goddess to us all that night and retains her status to this day! We stayed up all night with the team, went boating and swimming on their lake and drank as I recall more than our fair share of those disgusting wine coolers…Oh to be young…
But back to the here and the now…
Will be sure to try and interview many of said 350 manly men for new section of Great Boyfriends.com “The Pipe Laying Men of GB.com”. Can just see the photos and as am trained in art of photography perhaps can actually take the pictures! Ok, can’t even think about that right now as will become too excited to type! Of course, all potential manly men will have to be personally by moi screened prior to being posted!
