Dear TotalWreck,
You are a cutie so I have decided that I am going to help you with your online dating.
Totalwreck = not gonna go over so well with the women. Nobody is looking for a totalwreck unless they want to "rent a wreck". And that means they are cheap and have low standards and probably shop at kmart and are NOT looking for quality. And you my little friend are a QUALITY man, RIGHT??? So come on my little kumquat, get on the stick and advertise yourself as the quality guy that you and all your friends and family know that you are! Now I get that you are being funny, as I am funny, but believe me, you are much more worthy than the name implies so come on brother, pick yourself up and dust yourself off and present yourself to the world as an aspirational brand brimming with self confidence and qualities that are MUST haves!!!
Now, if the name wasn't bad enough TW, you should know that it is all too clear to the female fishes on this site that you have put ZERO effort into crafting the text of your profile. Your picture is so cute, but what a disappointment when we get to the text that SCREAMS OUT that you just couldn't be bothered to make any effort whatsoever when writing it. What quality woman wants to meet someone who can't even be bothered to try to make a good first impression? It doesn't bode well for the first meeting or inspire any hope of a long term relationship. But isn't that why you are here fishing? You are looking for Miss Right! But Miss Right is not looking for a totalwreck who makes no effort and shows no confidence in his profile! Makes sense doesn't it?
So now due to your cuteness I have decided to let you in on the number one secret to successful dating. Are you listening? Come a little bit closer. OK. Ready???
All women want is for men to make an effort! Even the tiniest effort is hugely appreciated as let's face it the bar is LOW -- most men don't realize they should make an effort. Would you show up on a first date without taking a shower and wearing dirty clothes? I think not, so why display the equivalent of that kind of behavior on your profile??? Think about the other guys on the site who are your competition. As they are making little to no effort, the easiest way to propel yourself from "must not" to "must meet" is to demonstrate that you make an effort! What a great first impression it will make! And its so easy to do!
The way it stands now you might as well just start making room at your house for those emotionally scarred and tragically dysfunctional lovelorns that will probably at this moment be flocking to your emotional unavailability. There is nothing a woman with low self esteem gets more excited about than a guy who is clearly emotionally lazy and unavailable! Right now they are panting and palpitating over their keyboards as they line up to contact you, inexorably drawn to your obvious lack of ability to commit emotionally to them. There is a reason Psychiatry be such a booming business in this country? Come on TW you know I'm right on this one.
So say goodbye to the "Hey guess what ladies, I'll never make an effort with you! " approach. Ugh. Seriously dude its social morphine. Now you have the inside scoop on women. Our standards are so depressingly low that you can only imagine how excited Miss Right will be when she thinks you are making even the most minimal effort on her divine behalf! Good lord, I am already imagining a fall wedding on the Vineyard and all the happily ever after that implies.
Now make a list of all your best assets and shout them to the rooftops! You'll be fighting those Miss Rights off like they are a pack of slobbering rabid she-wolves!!!
As a brand strategist I know of what I speak. Trust me on this TW.
:-)
