Diary Dateline: February 13, 2004, Boston, Massachusetts, 2 a.m.
Am resolved will keep track of Lessons Rachel Has Learned About Dating so that women everywhere who are smart enough to log onto GBs.com will benefit from my experiences - forewarned is forearmed ladies!
L.R.H.L.A.D. (lessons Rachel has learned about dating) #1:
L.R.H.L.A.D. #1 - remember swain who falls in love too fast is projecting self on to victim/ME and is like Narcissus gazing into pool/MY EYES and seeing his own SELF reflected back in a glorious manner that ensures he will forget everything but trying to sustain ability to bask in glow of his splendor via ME/vessel for short amount of time (usually about 6-8 weeks) whereupon his ardor will fade and he will ditch me and move onto next poor unsuspecting (victim) without ever discovering that his process is not honorable or even potentially successful as recipe for finding true love!. (see installment #1)
And speaking of bad behavior, flashback to a "MATCH.dud" date over summer. Have been dying to share my both unbelievable and hideous dating adventures with appreciative audience. Here is doosie!
B.T.W. (by the way) have I mentioned "MATCH.dud," where the odds are good but the goods are certainly odd??? Well, thanks to those "matchmakers", and I use the term lightly (!), last summer, after making initial foray into world of online dating possibilities, was preyed upon by adorable and formerly internationally known snowboarding rapscallion from Western state who had the most nefarious of intentions in store for me!
He, of course, managed to shield said intentions from view by whisking me off to his artistic and aristocrat family's private island where I met entire extended artistic and aristocrat family on second date(!), wooed me with horseback riding and moonlight kisses, haunted ancient island mansion, adorable twin nieces, and then, well I can't give away all the details here...
Let's just say I managed to remove my pretty little head from oppressive cloud cover and escape his too much, too soon clutches after much heartbreak and agony, not to mention the cashing in of my remaining frequent flier miles for a visit to Aspen, OUCH!, but as it turns out thank goodness it ended as it did or would never have been able to share L.R.H.L.A.D. with woman everywhere!!! Ahhh, do so love happy endings…
So now let the adventures continue!
Comments