SOMEBODY STOP ME!
I’M DATING A TODDLER!
Diary Dateline: May 1, 2004, Boston, Massachusetts
…Anyway, I am resolved that regardless of young available men, definitely going to advise all F.O.R.s to gather up their collective purchasing power of which females in our demographic possess in spades and get out there and invest in real estate!
The stock market is a big gnarly bear with claws and fangs and losses all around right now so why not take the opportunity to liquidate responsibly, scrounge around for that 10% down and buy yourself a home? (imagine the joys of entertaining young men in your very own home!) In this economy with these interest rates you cannot lose, plus you get a tax break and you position yourself for leveraging property up ,up and up. We can all become real estate tycoons.
Of course Suzy Orman will probably bitch-slap me for this, but don't worry about paying your credit cards off right now! We should be taking our spending power to the streets! Student loans and VISA be damned! Buy! Buy! Buy!
As it turns out F.O.R. and I found a perfect little abode for moi without help of adorable, tall REALTY BOY and I went ahead and made an offer and can hardly wait to begin my new adventures as a home owner! AND once own home will require services of more men, hopefully single and in luscious form of electricians, plumbers, carpenters, etc.
(L.R.H.L.A.D.: #5: man whose mission in life is to provide masses with expensive services tend to have loads of disposable income! Wahoo!)
Never in a million years did I think would get so much pleasure out of new kitchen appliances! Am only one to EVER use them, are mine, all mine! Cannot wait to start hosting fabu dinner soirees cooking sumptuous meals on new stove and wowing my culinary fans with tasty treats learned from eight years living in gorgeous and healthy San Francisco. These Bostonians have no idea what is about to hit them!
Think more women should eat in and/or learn to cook and dare I say, STOP buying pair after pair of unnecessary and painful, high-heeled over-priced, impossible to walk in shoes! Stop buying anything and STRETCH whatever resources are to grab a home of own - we can all be real estate baronesses if stop frittering away hard-earned currency on frivolous items and lock into low, low, low interest rates right now!
Am resolved will from this day forth resist the offerings of the Jimmy Choo's of this world. What has he done for me lately other than make me limp and need to enlist services of podiatrist? Though come to think of it could be opportunity to meet single, cute doctor and how mother would LOVE that!
But wait, must make life all about me and my choices! Having a plan of action will undoubtedly put spring in step and a sparkle in eyes that will have devastating and intriguing effect on men. Lads will surely be chasing me down the street in hopes of catching me and revealing what my secret is that keeps that happy and mysterious smile pasted on this gorgeous face and wondering how oh how can he be the lucky ONE to capture MY heart.
Remember, too that if log onto GB.com might get some dates with generous lads who want to spot me for dinner (remember all part of master plan to stretch self as far as is safe for financial situation and accumulating that 10% down - am determined to think of as YOGA for finances.) Heh.
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